This week’s blog I’d like to address the concept of being liked …
I had a situation with a family member this week that brought my need for affection to the surface.
I had a conversation where I asked the person if we could be more loving to each other.
And they said ‘I don’t know how to do that.’
The more I tried to explain … the more they pushed me away.
And at the end of the conversation I thought we had come to a better place.
But when I made contact the next day – I got a text back saying ‘Thank you, but have all the support I need.’
It has become clear that my need to be liked has blinded me to the reality of the relationship.
There is nothing I can do (or say) if the other person is not willing (or cannot) be open.
You can’t play tennis on your own.
The situation is also more complicated because the partner of the person is significantly influencing his behaviour.
I have spoken before about how we have needs of the heart that we are all running around day in, day out … trying to be fulfilled.
David Ji says that the four needs of the heart are … Acknowledgement, Acceptance, Appreciation and Affection.
I remember as a teenager that almost 100% of my time was spent trying to gain the affection of my classmates.
Do you remember that time?
The insecurities … the fear … the pain of rejection …
It was exhausting.
Even if you were in the popular group … it was still a tough time for your heart.
And as you grow older, you hope that you will grow out of your intense need to be liked.
But … the truth is your needs of the heart are still there.
Not quite as raw and on your sleeve as when you were a teenager.
But … still there.
This week I have learned that no matter how old I am, when someone says they don’t like me, I want to change their mind.
My Ego / personality wants desperately to convince that person that they are wrong.
My Ego / personality is scared.
My Ego / personality is hurt by the rejection.
My Ego / personality wants to tell them how great I am.
My Ego / personality wants to argue my case.
But my Soul knows better.
My Soul knows that I am love.
My Soul knows that I am peace.
My Soul knows that I am safe.
My Soul knows that I am okay … no matter what anyone else thinks of me.
My Soul knows that trying to convince someone that I am not what they perceive me to be be … is futile.
My Soul knows that their perception is theirs and I cannot do anything about that.
My Soul knows that the only way to move forward is to LET GO …
Let go of the desire to change his mind.
Let go of the need for him to love me.
Let go of the wanting to change things.
Let go of the trying to convince him.
Let go of the struggle to be something we are not.
There is a famous quote … “If you love someone set them free … if they come back, they are yours … and if they don’t, they never were.” Richard Bach.
I’ve always liked this quote. It resonates on the Soul level.
*Note: I like to say: ‘if they come back, it was meant to be.’
So, this week I’m asking you to consider someone that you could set free … let go … and release.
No matter who they are.
Family member. Friend. Colleague. Acquaintance.
For the greater good of both of you.
To raise your life to a higher vibrational space.
As you let go … you set yourself free too …
Your Soul will thank you.
If you need any support or assistance with this process, give me a call.