My morning yoga class was cancelled.
So I tried to go for a ride.
There were storm clouds brewing.
It was a gamble.
But I felt I needed to move.
I went right out my driveway, and I wasn’t pedalling too hard. All good.
I turned right again and felt like I slapped in the face by a wall of wind.
I thought … “I’m really not enjoying this.”
So I turned right at the next street and headed towards the shops.
Easier but still windy.
Then I thought … “Maybe I can do my circuit backwards, might be less windy.”
It wasn’t …
So as I battled to pedal along a flat road, with stray milk cartons and chip packets flying past me, I had another thought …
“What if I ride back home and then drive to the cafe to write my blog.”
That felt good. I turned the bike around.
But another voice said …
“What about your ride? You’ve hardly started. That’s pretty slack.”
And I took a deep breath.
My inner critic was very loud and feisty today.
I said to that voice: “It doesn’t feel good to do this right now. I can’t write an inspiring blog for my tribe if I’m all angry and resentful.”
I took another deep breath.
My inner critic grumbled under her breath (like my sister when she’s mad).
She knew I was right.
So I rode home and drove to the warm, comfortable cafe and I feel much happier inside.
Have you ever had that inner conversation?
Where your soul says: ‘stop pushing, trying, struggling, beating yourself up and be more loving to yourself.’
But your ego says: ‘you said you’d do this, it’s hard, you aren’t enjoying it, but you SHOULD do it anyway.’
The thing that is interesting to me in this scenario is, how mean I was being to myself. Why? What purpose does that serve? Other than making me feel awful.
Sometimes we have to pull ourselves up and go ‘HEY! … hey … heeeey.’
Insert ‘big self hug’ here.
Fact is I can ride another day or even later today (if the wind dies down).
Or I can do other types of moving inside – like dancing (I love the Body Groove videos by Misty Tripoli).
Or there is another yoga class tonight.
This week I ask you to be aware of where you are being mean to yourself?
Take a breath.
Stop and give yourself a hug.
You can be your greatest love and dearest friend.
P.s. If you would like to do something very loving for yourself check out the Full moon sound healing & meditation with Jana and Pip … on Saturday 14th Sept. Purchase tickets by clicking this link: www.pipcoleman.com/store