You can also listen to the podcast episode #132 HERE.
Ahhh yes, I believe the heaviest word in the English language is … SHOULD!
Closely followed by … HAD TO!
One of my Contemporary Goddess friend’s recently shared in one sentence that she HAD to go here and there, and she SHOULD pick up this and that, and then … how deeply tired she felt.
I said: “No wonder … you’re exhausted.”
So many of my Contemporary Goddess clients are feeling obligated, expected, and buried in “I should” … Is that you too?
You are not alone my friend.
The truth is that you’ve been conditioned so perfectly since birth.
Most women have.
Somewhere along the line, instead of embracing and honouring the nurturing side of women, it’s been skewed to serve everyone except us.
And until we are aware of this, we cannot begin to take back our power.
Women have been taught that:
It’s better to put your needs last.
It’s necessary to prioritise your partner, your kids, your boss, and your friends.
It’s easier to do what everyone else wants, so they’re happy.
And I ask you … Goddess where, in your list of ‘things to do’ is the time-out, the space to rest, the quiet moments, the filling your own cup, the heart-healing time, the spiritual reconnection, the meeting of your Soul-Self, the tapping into your intuition, the self-care moments, or the permission to “un-should”.
Now, I’m not saying that you completely switch to a self-focused life.
Sure … you will enjoy it for a minute, but there is a delightful gratification in serving others. But only if you are serving and not in servitude.
Obligation and expectation are the opposite of love. Whether it’s loving yourself or loving others … if there is an undercurrent of SHOULD that will taint the situation or the relationship with resentment.
And no-one really wants to have love with a side of resentment.
That’s not satisfying or fulfilling. That’s not serving anyone well.
So, what can you do about it?
- Being aware that you have resentful, angry, frustrated feelings is step one. There is a power in being awake to your unhealthy behaviours. Once you know you cannot un-know. That’ll give you the leverage to make changes.
- Finding someone safe to share your truth and look at possibilities for steps forward. Note: the key here is ‘someone safe’ … a coach, counsellor, therapist, doctor … be discerning about who you talk to.
- Putting 1 or 2 self-care rituals into your daily schedule, so that you are recharged and in the best possible state to do what needs to be done. This is the essence of self-love that will sustain you from within and remove the bitter taste of resentment.
As a Contemporary Goddess, you know deep in your Soul that you can’t keep living in this land of obligation and expectation because it’s slowly killing you. Right?
It’s safe for you to say ‘no more shoulds’!
It’s safe for you to speak the truth.
It’s safe for you to call back your power.
It’s safe for you to take care of yourself.
If you need some help with this process of calling out the SHOULDS and stepping back into your power, just send me an email or book in a complimentary Divine Discovery call.
p.s. The Divine Alignment Coaching program is open now … it’s tailor-made for Contemporary Goddesses … check it out: The Divine Alignment Coaching Program – Pip Coleman