This week’s blog is about family … It has been a bit of a challenging week for me.
My brother and his wife have decided for various reasons not to spend any time with me for the last 2-3 years which has been hard for me. I always thought my siblings and I would be close forever.
So, I have been practicing holding the situation with love and I have the intention that we are all healing our hearts to be able to one day spend time together in peace.
This week I booked my flights to Tasmania for Christmas and found out that I arrive on the last night of my brother’s visit to my parents house.
I thought: ‘Oh that wasn’t my intention, but it might be nice to see them for a few hours.’
However, my brother called me to say that he is not yet comfortable to have his family in the same space as me – even for a few hours.
He said that they feel judged and are still hurt from past interactions.
I said that if we were to meet up, I would be coming with a peaceful and harmonious intention. But if they really feel that they can’t do it yet, then I would understand if they were not there when I arrive on the 19th Dec.
He said that at this stage, they will probably go to a hotel on that night.
I told him that although I am a bit hurt, I understand and I will get over it.
It was a bit sad to hear that he is not ready to reconcile. But no-one wants to be in a situation where they feel uncomfortable, whatever the reasons, and I feel it is important to honor that.
What I have been contemplating since, is why I feel so compelled to be friends with my brother. We have very different values, beliefs and ways of interacting. If he was not my sibling I’d probably not care so much.
If he was not my sibling maybe I could let things go easier. Maybe.
So, where am I now?
Well, I’ve decided that I will practice remembering the good bits of the conversation. The bit where he said that he knows I didn’t plan to arrive on the 19th Dec for any malicious intent. The bit where we both spoke our truth and we honored each other. And my favourite bit where he said ‘I do love you – you’re my sister.’
As Marianne Williamson says in her book ‘Return to Love’:
“… ‘selective remembering’, a conscious decision to remember only loving thoughts and let go of any fearful ones. This is the meaning of forgiveness. … it is our function to remember that there is no guilt in anyone, because only love is real. It is our function to see through the illusion of guilt, to the innocence that lies beyond.”
I wish you all the best with your families.
Be kind to yourself.
Blessings Pip xxx