Let’s talk about the ways that Contemporary Goddesses over-give and the consequences of not receiving on your health, well-being, spiritual connection and peace of mind.
Contemporary Goddesses are women who are A-type personalities who are high achievers in their lives. You might be working in a corporate job, or running your own business, or committed to a demanding sport. No matter what you DO with your time … there is a constant focus on success and achievement.
This constant focus on achievement can lead you to spend more time giving than receiving.
Giving time. Giving energy. Giving money. Giving without thought.
Giving at the expense of your own needs and desires.
That’s the key, by the way, the “at the expense” part.
Giving in a healthy way has an equal exchange of energy, where BOTH people have their needs met and it feels great!
Over-giving doesn’t serve anyone in a healthy or balanced way.
Sure, it serves the other person … they get their needs met … but what about you?
That’s a question that a lot of women begin to ask … ‘what about me?’
There is a quick buzz of satisfaction when you help someone, but it’s quickly overshadowed by a sneaky feeling of anger and a thought of ‘why do I always give so much, and no-one does that for me?’
I’ve found that this over-giving usually has origins in an old belief that was drilled into you from childhood that ‘good girls always take care of other people.’ Or ‘good girls aren’t selfish.’
Do either of those resonate with you?
I know they do with me …
So, of course, the first step to change is to RECOGNISE that you are over-giving and that you have been unconsciously programmed all your life. This is not a conscious choice that you’re making. It’s time to take the power back and be mindful, so that you can feel more peaceful.
The second step is to GIVE YOURSELF SPACE before you reply to a request.
If you are asked to do something and you have a knee jerk reaction to say ‘yes’ … take a beat.
Don’t answer right away. Reply to the person that you need to check your diary, ask your partner, or confirm with your boss … anything that feels authentic to you.
The third step is to CHECK IN WITH YOUR HEART to work out if you want to do it. When you are ready put your hand on your heart. Take a breath (or 3 breaths) to settle yourself. Then ask “Do I really want to do this?” … “Is this something that will raise my vibration or lower it?” … Trust the quiet feelings. You will know if it’s a HECK YES or a NO THANKS. Don’t logically override. Your ego will be loud.
And the fourth step is to MAKE A NEW CHOICE. If you decide to still go ahead and say ‘yes’ even though you don’t want to, at least you are consciously choosing. There is power in that. If you decide to say ‘no’ then be as loving as possible and say/text/email “I can’t help you with that request this time, I hope you’re able to sort it out, and I’ll speak to you soon.” Or “I’m not available on Sunday, hopefully you can find someone to help you out.” Or “I am fully booked that day. I’m sorry you’re going through a tough time right now, I’ll send you loving thoughts.”
Obviously, this is going to take practice and you might need some support, so please reach out to me if you’d like some help with a particular person or situation.
So, in the same way that you can be unconsciously over-giving… you may also be unconsciously not receiving. Double-whammy!
If you are unconsciously not receiving it looks like … not being able to accept a compliment, not allowing others to help you, not reaching out for help, feeling guilty if someone gives you assistance, and actively pushing people away from you.
There is a deep feeling of loneliness that creeps in.
And you probably explain it away as being independent .. right?
Well newsflash! … this is classic Contemporary Goddess sabotage.
It comes from the same belief about ‘good girls taking care of others’…. But it has morphed into ‘So, I have to take care of myself, and not let anyone help me.’
What complicated beings we are – huh?
You can use the process for over-giving here –
RECOGNISE what you’re doing.
GIVE YOURSELF SPACE to consider the help being offered.
CHECK IN WITH YOUR HEART to see what you need.
MAKE A NEW CHOICE to accept or not from a conscious space.
And you can also practice what my Dad taught me – “Just say – Thank you. You know how good YOU feel when you help or compliment someone? Give THEM the gift of receiving by accepting.”
And the BONUS is … when you practice receiving … you energetically and physically attract more love, happiness, health, abundance and good stuff! YAY!
That’s how the universe works … what you put out, flows back to you 10-fold.
If you want love, be more loving.
If you want joy, be more joyful.
If you want peace, be more peaceful.
I’d love to hear your thoughts about this topic, so please feel free to email me or send me a DM on social media or comment on the podcast.
You can also book in for a complimentary Divine Discovery phone call on my website or in my calendar link: https://pipcoleman.simplybook.me/v2/#book/category/7/count/1/
Have a great week … bye for now.